Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Ending Parole for 500,000 Migrants Creates New Headaches for Employers - WSJ

I can count

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

Texas Tech ends Oklahoma's 4-year run as Women's College World Series champ with walk-off 3-2 win - AP News

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Thunder -750 favorites in NBA Finals over Pacers - ESPN

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is the dirtiest city in India?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

How does one succeed in life?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why do good-looking men date homely women?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

How come Jesus died on Friday and rose on Sunday? That's not 3 days and three nights.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Are you happy with your life?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What are some photos of female sexual organs?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why do I get spun and then want big fat cocks to suck?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why is rap* a crime?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Ethane Exporter Says U.S. Won’t Allow Shipments to China - WSJ

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

What is it like to have an insanely beautiful girlfriend?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

A 35-year-old woman suffered a stroke on an international flight. A Houston doctor believes he knows why. - KHOU

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I see through liars